what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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