Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize