Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
