how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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