It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
