I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
