Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
