that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
