and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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