dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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