my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
