I accidentally had phone sex last night
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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