Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
