Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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