I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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