yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
