He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
