This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
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We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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