do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
