Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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