i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
