I think i peed on brittanys purse
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
