I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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