Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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