nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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