at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
