seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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