No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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