I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
