So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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