I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
