Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
