he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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