ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
