Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
