Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
did you just send me my own nude
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
