I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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