Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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