32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
