There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
