I need help removing her.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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