I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
