If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
