you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i need some magic done to my vagina
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
