I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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