how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
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whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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