I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
