Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize