And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
