do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
This house was built for laser tag.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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