Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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