I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize