where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
And then he peed in my hair
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