All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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