I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He better not be in your backpack
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i out mim tonsoeep
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
