I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
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