i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
