I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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