Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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