i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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