3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
