Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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