You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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