there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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