new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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