don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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